the height differences are wonderful
Yes, it does.
Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”
The original statement still stands, though.
I just think every driver should read this.
Too many people are oblivious to these facts, mainly because they’ve never been in or driven a truck hauling horses.
"I have a mod that adds a really cool player home and it has barracks for followers. Now, my favourite hobby is collecting followers by hiring them, taking them to my house, and releasing them there so that they can never leave."
- Image credit: [x]
Having an anxiety disorder is like that moment where your chair almost tips or you miss a step going down the stairs but it never stops
THIS IS THE ONLY DESCRIPTION OF ANXIETY I HAVE EVER IDENTIFIED WITH
THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
BUT HOURS- SOMETIMES DAYS- LONG
oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old
This should be a wake-up call to her parents.
She obviously needs help.
Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,
and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.
You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle
with goat or lamb blood,
and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.
This is great way to to teach your child early on
about geometry and foreign languages.
Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard
dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING
Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.
She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl
Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:
There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be.
If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say.
Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.
I love everything about this post
only on tumblr
I will always reblog this.
Black Butler series 4???
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.
"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."
"Okay, new yoga pose. It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."
"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."
do u ever look at someone’s characterization of one of ur faves and just sit there offended on behalf of the character
Yeah, but the problem is that it’s the showrunner.
goodbye my love
i needed to draw at least one good-looking thing before i go
if you ever worry that you’re weird, or taking it a bit far as a fangirl, remember that people in ancient Rome used to buy vials of their favorite gladiator’s sweat to wear as perfume. so like. at least its not a new thing.